Why Women Should Not Get Married

Women were independent since prehistoric times, it was the combination of marriage and misinformation that ruined female independence.

Many experts believe that newfound female independence plays a major factor in the decline of marriage. In simple words, women just don’t need marriage anymore. As of the year of 2020, 39 percent of marriages in the United States end up divorce. It begs to question whether marriage is even worth it. Although you shouldn’t avoid marriage in fear of getting a divorce, it’s vital to understand why so many marriages fail. Maybe it can be that women never really needed marriage in the first place.

According to the Bureau of Labor statistics women now make 50 percent of the workforce, not including self employed workers. The influx of modern day women entering the workforce directly threatens the traditional roles previously laid down. For thousands of years now, men were the hunters and women were the gatherers. To put it into perspective, female survival depended on the male. Or was it that male survival depended on the female? You see during the cavemen era men would go out to hunt while women stayed back to bred children. Without the survival of women, who would continue the tribe. Men went out hunting not because women were too weak but because women were too valuable to the ecosystem. Objectively speaking, Men were replaceable while women weren’t.

National geographic found that prehistoric women actually had stronger arms than men. The results being due to endless hours of farming. So the idea that prehistoric women didn’t work as much as men is completely thrown out the window. Although they didn’t go out to hunt, they would spend endless hours of labor on farmland, taking care of cattle, and children. Many times they did this all while pregnant. How is this relevant to marriage today? It throws out the argument that women are biologically wired to nurture men. In reality, biologically women have been working just as much if not more than men. As man became more intelligent, more social constructs began to develop. As so there became more regulations on what was or wasn’t considered socially acceptable. Early societies were very conservative leading to the confinement of female independence.

The beginning stages of female confinement was the villainization of sex. As sex became something that was meant to be hush hush and pure, the objectification of women became more prevalent. Early societies associated sex with the virtue connecting it to the women’s reputation. This stigma around sex still exists even in today’s modern day society. Society made a women’s virginity something to be obtained. Eventually men started to feel as if a woman’s virginity was their right. This objectification of women took their identity all together creating a system in which women were responsible for pleasing men. And so it began, women were taught from early on that they must be the best possible housewives. There was nothing else for women to do in a society where women weren’t allowed to work. How else would they showcase their skills.

Prior to the 20th century, marriage was more about money, power, and survival rather than modern day ideas such as love. Couples were often arranged with one another, many times without having met the other person. Women married for survival. Before women weren’t allowed to own anything. This forced her to be dependent on the males in her life. When it was noted a father couldn’t house their daughter anymore, they would pass her over to a man. It was quite the agreement, the women took care of the household and pleased the man, as the man would give her basic needs. For upper class families marrying off their daughters was more about merging their wealth. It was a way to keep generations of money flowing while preventing “poor people” from entering their prestigious bloodline. Marriage was a ploy to make the rich even richer. If couples didn’t even have a say in who they married, there was no chance for them to even consider separation. Marriage back then was just putting up with each other for the greater good of society.

The constitution of marriage has been so drilled into us that we believe everyone absolutely must get married. Saying that marriage is for everyone is like saying that everyone likes the color blue. From adolescence to adulthood you are constantly told that marriage is inevitable. You are not wrong for falling into that trap. Humans have put marriage on the same pedestal as death. Death happens to everyone that’s indisputable, apparently marriage happens to everyone too. It’s a never ending cycle of life. If women prior to the 20th century were given the opportunity to not get married, how many would stay? It’s thousands of years of brainwashing which has convinced women that in order to be fulfilled they must get married. Had women been given the same independence we have to today, many would have left their husbands long ago. Let’s not forget that some even married so that their husbands can inherit their father’s lands. I guarantee if they had the opportunity to inherit their own land, they would not get married. Brothers got their sisters married off so that they wouldn’t have to share their inheritance. It was easier to get them married with the statement “Your husband will provide for you now.” The only people who benefited greatly from marriage were men.

Let’s bring this back into modern day society. It wasn’t until the 1920’s that the concept of dating even became a thing. That’s when the idea of marrying for love was now mainstream. Now today one hundred days later society marries for love. We are marrying for love, but our divorce rates are also at the highest. Modern day men are different. Most modern men don’t try to confine women. Many men now even prefer assertive women.But then why are divorce rates higher? This isn’t because men are evil and want a submissive housewife, it’s because the system of marriage itself is flawed. Women no longer benefit from marriage the way they did post 20th century.

So is marriage evil? Absolutely not. Marriage is just not for everyone. So you strong independent women, don’t beat yourself up because you can’t get someone to purpose to you. Ignore the relatives that ask when you plan to settle down. Stop speed dating to find a husband. If the piece fits it fits and if it doesn’t keep it moving. Don’t let thousands of years of brainwashing make your life feel incomplete. Get married if you want to get married.

I'm a Media and Communications graduate. As an aspiring Journalist in real life I joined medium as an outlet for my writings and personal experiences.